Be afraid. Be very afraid…
According to 89-year-old Harold Camping, Christian preacher and founder of the California-based religious broadcasting network,Family Radio, Jesus is returning this coming weekend. Judgment day will begin on May 21, 2011, and on October 21, 2011, the world will end for good.
Therefore, whatever you’re doing on May 21, make sure you wrap it up before 6 PM; that’s when it all begins. A massive earthquake will trigger enormous destruction and the world will cease to exist as we know it. In the midst of all the devastation, the Rapture will happen and Christians – yup, only Christians – will be snatched up and transported to heaven. But not all Christians; just the really good ones. And what, you ask, will happen if you’re a bad Christian or a non-Christian? Well, you’re pretty much doomed because those who remain behind will have no hope of salvation.
But don’t fret. You still have a few days to clean up your soul and get in good with God. Like Charlton Heston said in the movie ‘The Greatest Story Every Told’ where he played the role of John the Baptist: “Repent! And thou shall be saved”
Personally, I prefer the way Jim Carrey mimics Heston in the film “When Nature Calls”:
In any case, make sure you get to a local church this week to convert to Christianity. And don’t forget to add “spend some time repenting” to this week’s agenda. Just in case.